The past two years, I have written a post for the Class of 2013 and Class of 2014, thinking it would become an annual tradition in which I shared all the wisdom gained across the last year, but in re-reading the previous messages, I've realized one of two things. Either I peaked in the wisdom department at 36, or I got the message pretty right the first time. I'm honestly not sure which is more accurate--probably a little of both--but as my father never used to say, "If it ain't broke, maybe tweak it just a little."
So here is my mostly recycled, slightly revised, but still just as heart felt message to the Class of 2015 on the eve of their graduation from college...
Texans in Alabama Alyssa, Lauren M., Me, Lauren P., & Chandler-Grace |
A couple of years ago, I became the Dean of Students at Birmingham-Southern College, a small, private, liberal arts institution in Birmingham, Alabama. It's been a wonderful environment to call home, and I have grown to adore the students with whom I am privileged to work. At BSC, we have several great senior traditions--Bell Ringing on the last day of class, Senior Party on the Academic Quad, the Capping Ceremony, and of course, Graduation.
At my Alma mater, we have a tradition called The Last Great Reception in which a faculty member offers a toast to the graduating class. It's a powerful, touching, and slightly rowdy tradition (that's what happens when you give booze to the parents of graduating seniors), but it's made me reflect on what I would say to a group of graduating seniors if I had my time at the podium.
Trinity University Orientation Team |
Some of my words will be practical and some philosophical, but all of them are heartfelt:
You...are...precious. I don't mean that in a "condescending, creepy Uncle Ben, everybody gets a trophy" kind of way. I mean that in the "you are a gift to this world, don't let anyone tell you otherwise" kind of way. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and acknowledge your awesomeness. Abandon those who make you feel "less than" for embracing your, well, you-ness. Tell that self-defeating voice in your head to stuff it. Replace that voice with mine, and you'll always know that you are cherished by many.
You...are...fallible. What?! Seems a bit contradictory juxtaposed to my last statement. It's not. Mistakes don't make a person any less worthy of appreciation and respect. Own your mistakes, learn from them, and help them make you an even better version of yourself. When I am at my strongest and most confident, I have great comfort in acknowledging my faults, and quite frankly, I like the flawed version of myself much better than the mask of perfection I sometimes try to hide behind.
On Love. Love and be loved by a partner who makes you whole, but also, makes you someone who can stand alone. Wow, another contradiction! I say, nay, my friends...or maybe it's just that love is the perfect contradiction. My wife and I value our independence, and yet we enjoy life much better as a pair. We allow each other to be our authentic selves even when that authenticity creates conflict. We compromise daily without compromising ourselves. And the end result? A blessed union that is my greatest source of strength. I hope that you find your own perfect contradiction in time.
LeaderShape Family Cluster - Michigan Tech Back: Kyle, Bradley, Andrew, Austin, Erik Front: Sophia, Samantha, Rachel, Me, & Yu |
Contribute to the dialogue; not the cacophony. As of late, it appears that we have elected to eschew intellectual discourse for commentary that preys upon our basest fears...reduced to meme form. We live in a complex world with complex problems, and we owe it to each other to educate ourselves, seek out alternative perspectives, and find solutions based in reality rather than screaming from the sidelines of the far left or far right. That, my friends, is your education in action.
It's been a blessing to be a part of the last few years of your life, but I can take little credit in the people you've become. I was simply a witness to it, and as one who really paid attention, know that you have much to be proud of on your final days as undergrads. You have grown into the world-changers I knew you would become.
So as your time here comes to a close and you step onto a different, far bigger stage, know that I remain in the audience, still in awe of your talents, and cheering you on just as I've always been.
Cheers, Class of 2015. Your time has come.
So as your time here comes to a close and you step onto a different, far bigger stage, know that I remain in the audience, still in awe of your talents, and cheering you on just as I've always been.
Cheers, Class of 2015. Your time has come.