Work Hard, Play Smart, Care Deeply, Be Awesome, Forward Ever

Below are my remarks last Sunday afternoon to the Class of 2018 and our transfer students at Birmingham-Southern College. I thought I'd provide a glimpse into who I am as a professional and why I do what I do. And yes, my former colleagues and students, you'll see a few recycled sentiments...as I state below, I am nothing if not consistent.

Good afternoon, everyone.

I’m Ben Newhouse, and I’m your Dean of Students. I emphasize “your” because that is how I truly see myself—a Dean dedicated to supporting and challenging you as an individual and the community as a whole. Now, as a fan of all things pop culture, I realize that Deans have rarely been cast in a flattering light in movies and television; but, I look forward to showing you that a Dean of Students can be so much more than a hard-nosed disciplinarian…or at least not pure evil…during your time at BSC. I and my colleagues in Student Development, whom you’ll meet tonight, are truly wonderful people, who love working with college students and supporting each of you on your educational journey.

If you’ve looked at your schedule at all (or my insightful twitter feed), you will know that this afternoon is dedicated to what is expected of you during your time on the Hilltop and perhaps more importantly what you should expect from each other. We can’t progress as a community without a common understanding as to what we want our community to look like. And we cannot begin to explore our own sense of self without creating a safe space in which we can learn, grow, and thrive.

So I thought it would be important to open with my thoughts on the matter…coordinating the Orientation schedule grants you some quality mic time…one perk of being the Dean.

For those who attended Summer Orientation, and I know you hung on every remark I uttered, you heard me say this phrase: “Work Hard, Play Smart, Care Deeply, Be Awesome, Forward Ever.”

I assure you that across these next four years, today will not be the last you hear me say these words. I am nothing if not consistent, especially if it’s something I’m passionate about. And there is nothing I have more passion for than your success, your well-being, your ability to flourish here at BSC, and the positive impact our community can have on each other and this world. That’s right, when it comes to you, I don’t mince words…so indulge me a few minutes to lay the foundation for our time together and to explain what I mean by Work Hard, Play Smart, Care Deeply, Be Awesome, Forward Ever.

On the WORK HARD front of things…well, that should be pretty obvious. You are here, first and foremost, to earn a college degree. Regardless of where you came from—location, economic background, high school rigor, once you stepped foot on this campus, you entered rarefied air. Access to higher education in this world and even in this country is by no means a given; and therefore, I hope you treat your time at BSC like the privilege it is and truly Claim Your Education. The late poet Adrienne Rich once said to an incoming class much like you, “you cannot afford to think of being here to receive an education; you will do much better to think of being here to claim one.” You are no longer a passive participant in your education. Going through the motions will leave you ill-equipped for the world beyond BSC. Your education deserves a far more significant commitment from you. Please understand, I know you have made and will continue to make sacrifices to get here, but many, many others have, as well. Honor their commitment to you through your dedication to your studies. A word of gratitude is nice, but the greatest act of appreciation awaits four years from now, walking across the stage, a graduate of BSC, ready to lay claim to the next stage of your life.

I know you’ve heard the phrase “Work Hard, Play Hard,” but I’ll always found that to be an uneasy if not flawed pairing. I get it…for smart, driven, dedicated students, there are times in which you need to put the books aside and blow off some steam…so don’t think your Dean is anti-“all things fun.” But as a person who gets to deal with the outcomes of drunken mistakes, regrettable decisions, and traumatizing incidents, I have seen the error of a Work Hard, Play Hard mentality. In my experience…

Work Hard, Play Hard causes smart people to make stupid choices.

Work Hard, Play Hard finds lives of promise stuck in the land of regret.

Work Hard, Play Hard results in people abandoning who they are in hopes of impressing others.

And finally Work Hard, Play Hard is that moment when you stop being part of the joke and become the butt of the joke.

For me, Work Hard, PLAY SMART is the better option. It allows you to engage in many of the activities that a “Work Hard, Play Hard” person would…minus the negative consequences of Work Hard, Play Hard mentality. College is filled with choices—whether to drink at all or drink to excess, whether to participate in the hook-up culture or seek a more stable relationship, whether to remember the good times or attempt to piece them together over the course of the next day…and believe me, the story you finally are able to craft is never so cool that it involves a baby named Carlos or Mike Tyson’s pet tiger. Real life is generally far more embarrassing, disconcerting, and sometimes tragic. So Work Hard sure, but Play Smart. That mentality will work different for each of you, but it will most definitely keep you out of my office…at least for reasons you don’t want to be there for.

The reason I harp so much about Playing Smart is because I CARE DEEPLY for each of you and for this community as a whole. I want your lives of promise to be fulfilled and for you to take your own caring nature and positively impact the world. To Care Deeply is to truly be in community with each other…when it’s easy and when it’s challenging and difficult. If you want a model for what it means to care deeply look no further than the Orientation Team. A week ago today we were 50 distinct and disconnected individuals…a team in name only…and by no means could I have envisioned what we have become. But by caring deeply for one another…motivated by our collective commitment to all of you…we created a safe space that allowed us to be ourselves—our sometimes awesomely vulnerable selves—and create the kind of community we envision for all of you. But that takes a willingness to care deeply about this place, each other, and yourself. So take care of your surroundings—clean up after yourselves and even each other, get to know your classmates, your professors, the dining services staff, and the dedicated individuals who clean and maintain our home, and please, please, please, do not forget to care deeply for yourself. You are precious to me and you are certainly precious to your loved ones back home. Treat yourself with the kind of care and respect others have for you. You are worth that...at least that…and so much more.

 If we have that kind of community, then you will truly be permitted to Be Awesome. As I said this summer, I don’t care what kind of label, be it flattering or not, you had in high school. Unless it represented your authentic self, then discard it and know…to Be Yourself is to Be Awesome. We are a family at BSC. That is hopefully why you chose this place, and to be a family is to accept those around you for who they are, just as they are...with no conditions. There is something freeing about being given permission to just be yourself. And it’s time to start living that both as an individual and as a community. Now that’s the tough part. Sticking up for someone else when they are being mistreated, demeaned or excluded. Being vulnerable with others you don’t know very well. Putting yourself out there not knowing if you’ll be accepted. Being willing to shut up and listen when someone is telling their story and treasuring that moment for the privilege it truly is. So let’s make a commitment to each other. Over the next four days, we are going to check our cool kid caps at the door, tear down our walls, and allow ourselves to be awesome. Just give it a shot. I think you’ll find it’s just what we needed.

And finally, forward ever. I love this phrase because it presents the world as full of potential, full of promise; always learning, always growing. It’s what your education should be about. And what BSC is always about.

So Work Hard, Play Smart, Care Deeply, Be Awesome, Forward Ever. That’s what I expect for you. If we live that, our next four years will be fantastic.

Thanks!