Love is a Food Coma

It only seems appropriate that my post-Thanksgiving Day post centers around food. Nothing pulls you out of a food coma like contemplating your next meal of gluttony.

You see, besides, you know, loving my wife, I married into the Holland family not for money but rather for food. I break that line out at least once a holiday meal, and it is always greeted with rousing laughter. Of course, I always wait until bellies are full, and we are at least three bottles of wine down--it's called comedic timing, folks.

But seriously, thank goodness I liked Sara because it would have difficult to leave behind the Holland family traditions...and by traditions I mean rituals of food and fellowship.

Now my family has always understood the joy of eating. Some of my favorite family memories encompass mounds of chicken fried steak--my mother's specialty--and other high calorie, soul satisfying meals. In short, the Hollands made this Newhouse feel right at home.

Here's a rundown of the meals that found their way into my heart:

Thanksgiving - While the sides are all great, this meal is made by the presence of Greenberg Turkey. What's so special about a Greenberg Turkey? Imagine something so good that an unnamed 30 plus year old man threw a temper tantrum one year when he was told Greenberg was not on the menu. Yeah, it's that good. Plus, it's one of Oprah's Favorite Things except it was one of my favorite things first. In your face, Oprah.

Fourth of July - Besides the aforementioned pyrotechnics, Independence Day is filled with mounds of boiled shrimp. This was the first food-centric Holland tradition I experienced, and I may have made a fool of myself. Fortunately, after coming up for air, I found I was in good company. A few of the recent family additions aren't partakers...and I think they must lead sad, empty lives.

Memorial Day - Ribs, potato salad, baked beans. Need I say more? Well, that's never stopped me. I don't even like potato salad, but I love this stuff. It's like mashed potatoes on crack...yet street legal.

Chicken Spaghetti Day - Okay, this isn't a actual holiday, but when Sara's grandmother makes this dish, I'm like a kid on Christmas, and all my presents are pans of chicken spaghetti and my stocking contains a bottle of cholula--the perfect chicken spaghetti condiment. I swear this recipe could solve all the world's problems. Global warming, the national debt, world peace--all solved by a pan of chicken spaghetti.

I know, I know...some of you are probably lamenting that you didn't factor food into the perfect partner equation. Don't worry, love will get you through the mediocre meals and the tasteless treats to come.

Me? I'm fixing leftovers.